Communication with One Another in Peace
How to communicate in Peace. Finding your own Peace within in order to have Peace without. The greatest issue facing all of us is how we communicate to one another.
Poor Communicators: communicate in criticism and put downs.
Good Communicators: donât comment on everything the other says and just agree that it is okay to have different opinions.
Poor Communicators: neither person feels respected in the conversation or feels they have been listened to. Poor communicators are too busy defending their need to be right.
Bringing up the shoulds, this âyou should do this, sales that, and that other thingâŠ Iâm beyond frustrated with YOU! You are not listening to me.â
Good communicators: stay on topic, do their best to be specific about the problem without the need to punish. They work to find a solution both parties can live with.
Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate, and be willing to find something you should do to make it work!
Poor Communicators: Don’t listen, interrupt the partner; show contempt by mocking, rolling eyes, insulting their opinion, glaring at the other person, finger pointing, raised voice, deepened emotions in voice, screaming, and then leaving. Showing stubbornness by I won’t “give in,” then deadly silence.
Good communicators: Listen carefully, give empathy and positive responses, assume responsibility for your own feelings (“I” statements) overlook the insults and focus back on the complaint. Take ownership of individual issues, lack of self-esteem, need to control, need to be right, need to have it my way. Truly know when itâs an âIâ issue or the otherâs issue. Continue to work to negotiate.
Poor Communicators: Respond to criticism with defensiveness, such as denying everything, turning it around, getting off topic, making excuses, finding fault, saying you always on my case, which are tactics of avoiding the immediate problem and the wiliness to change.
Good Communicators: Respond to constructive criticism as useful information (not an as an insult or threat), Thank you, I didn’t ‘see’ that or I didn’t ‘get’ that. Empathy works miracles. Recognizing none of us are perfect, we all have issues, we donât see our own âstuffâ in the situation. Gifting the other the benefit of the doubt. I believe you want the best in this relationship. I trust you want this to work.