Working Together in Unity
(This document assumes that there is a vision being worked on}
Written by Tamar GeorgeÂ *Tamar has worked with the Phoenix Institute Pittsburgh group for the last 30 years whose soulâ€™s purpose is to work in Unity.Â
What is important with the vision?Â The only thing that is important is your relationship with other people. Repeat:Â The only thing that is important is your relationship with other people.
Â Why?Â Because it really isnâ€™t the end project that is important, it is how well we treat each other in the process. Â Personally, you donâ€™t even have to like the other person, but you do have to put love and respect into the situation.
Love in the situation means, did you help the other feel successful?Â Did you help the other shine in the process?Â Did you give the other recognition?Â Did you give the benefit of the doubt?Â Did you ask questions to get more information?
Too many times the leader is in a leadership role for the ego boost of importance.Â A leader can have the best intentions and yet sacrifice everyone else in the process because their intent is to control; that familiar saying, itâ€™s my way or the high way.
The common vision is already diluted if the core energy is negative.Â Everyone must question over and over again their basic human issues of the need to control, the need to be right, the need to feel important.
If people acquiesce to your leadership without protest, they may or may not agree, but decide to go along because the cost of objectingâ€”whether real or perceivedâ€”is too great.Â But they will sabotage something, somehow, and somewhere.
A leader must create an environment that is safe for dissent.Â Once you have communicated the vision, goals, details, please ask for feedback.Â Yes, the process takes a lot of time.Â This is why volunteers need to be recognized for their service at the end of each task.Â Recognize everyone with a party, gift, and recognition of skills.
The Downfalls of Group Leadership:Â Donâ€™t get defensive. If youâ€™re defensive you need to work on why?Â Human nature is always impatient with negotiations.Â You have to give something you donâ€™t want to give and the other has to give something they donâ€™t want to give.Â Our impatience happens when we believe someone else will not have the insight, experience and knowledge we might have or want. Â Itâ€™s a surprise every time when the other volunteer actually says something we didnâ€™t think of.
Sorry, this next statement needs to be said; please do not gossip about others in order to keep your need to be right and please do not divide others to side with you.Â Blame and shame is a tactic that always backfires because people will walk the other way when you enter the room, because they know they are next.
Encourage debate. Hash it out. That does not mean you give into the bully, or squeaky wheel, it means everyone discusses what are the best ideas using your best communication skills.Â Be a listener. Write down all the concerns on a white board, a piece of paper.Â Ask for a silent vote for what is wanted.Â People feel safe with a silent vote.Â It does not have to be consensus.Â Not everyone has to agree.
Unity works with the majority wanting the event/project/vision. Â Because consensus says you will likely run around getting others to side with you.Â Let others have that silent vote. Unity is working in unison with the majority, putting your ego wants aside.Â This is important because you need others and their passion. We all need to support each other for the greater good of the project/event/vision.
Nothing is happening:Â
What if people agree with your direction and generally support it. But they are not personally invested or committed to making it happen?Â Â In other words, you have their minds but not their hearts. You go along thinking everyone is doing their committed tasks and yet nothing is happening?Â This is why you may not experience disagreement or even resistance, but you are frustrated because you canâ€™t seem to make things happen.
How do you pump up the passion in others to get the project done?
Go back to the question?Â Why did you want this in the first place?Â What is in it for you?Â What do you think you will benefit? Â How much are you willing to invest?
What do you think the group will benefit?Â Also who else will benefit from this vision?Â These answers are the basis for all great marketing.Â If you want it, others will want it.Â So write down why do you want it?
How do you pump up your passion to get the project done?
Being successful in leadership is the ability to establish relationships and develop a network of people to accomplish the groupâ€™s vision, mission, objectives and goals. Effective communication creates an environment of cooperation, commitment, respect and trust.
Trust is the hardest thing to win back.Â But you can win trust back when you apologize. Â You can start the apology with â€śWho I was yesterday is not who I am todayâ€¦Iâ€™m sorry, here is the action Iâ€™m apologizing for.Â I didnâ€™t put love and respect first.Â I get itâ€¦I reacted.â€ťÂ You are not seen as weak when you apologize, you are seen as strong.Â The strong leader falls down and gets back up.Â The weak leader stays under the covers in a pity party blame game.
Finally the event or project happens and itâ€™s a huge success. Â Hopefully you donâ€™t turn around and see all the damage done to others in the process.Â Hopefully you can trust you, you can respect you and everyone congratulates you for making it easy to be a part of something that feels good.
Agreement and Alignment:
This is the ultimate level of unity. People areÂ with you.Â They are fully committed to making the common vision a reality. They also have your back and the backs of others in the group. They voice their support in public and let others know about the vision/event/project/.
Congratulations you know how to avoid the pitfalls and work in Unity.Â Now that is real hope for the world because if you can do it, then surely the leaders of the world can do it.